And my Peeps think I am a Purr-vert!

You know its nearly impossible for a cat to have any privacy in this house. Let me give you an example!

Last night I had a somewhat embarrassing personal situation going on. You may remember I mentioned in my earlier posts, that I have a beautiful grey plumed tail with lots of soft fluffy soft fur all over it. Well yesterday evening it got something else all over it…Something icky…and sticky…

It was very uncomfortable and smelly and made it nearly impossible for me to think about anything else. I tried to get up and walk around normally, but then I'd plop down and scootch along the floor on my butt, trying to get this nasty stuff off. Naturally I tried to wash myself, but because I’m getting rounder all the time, I found it difficult to get myself into exactly the right position for long enough to do the job properly.

First the lady peep laughed at me, 'cause she thought I was being funny, but then after I kept doing it (scootching around the floor on my butt), she got worried because she loves to sew and sometimes I play with her spools of thread. I heard her say to the man peep, perhaps he ate some thread and he’s trying to pass a long strand of it. That can be very dangerous if it gets caught somewhere. We don't want him pulling on it. Maybe we should take him to the VET. Does she think I’m stooped like Sam the Dog? Cats don't eat thread, we eat Cat Sushi. I couldn’t believe what she did next. She picked me up and turned me over and looked right at my butt. Was my face red! and so was my butt probably!! I got embarrassed, because I’m grown up now and last time she looked down there, you know what happened next, snip, snip and some of my parts were gone when I woke up. Anyway, she said she couldn’t see anything wrong, or sticking out anywhere,and it felt like I had a matt (what’s the heck's a matt?) at the top of my tail. She said, it looks like he’s been trying to clean himself up, so I’ll leave it to him until tomorrow morning.

Okay, I got kinda hissy after that and snarled and growled and puffed myself up, which kinda hurt because of the sticky tail situation and ran away and hid under the bed in the guest room, where I spent approximately the next 1000 hours trying to scrub my tail. NO LUCK OF COURSE.

I was exhausted by 5:30 a.m. and felt sorry for myself, because I need to be clean and I just couldn’t reach the problem. So, when the lady peep picked me up and said “Okay Eddy, I’m going to have to do this for you”, I really didn’t put up much of a struggle….until she got the scissors out, then I really freaked out. I tried to run, and couldn’t… tried to jump up on the dining room table...and couldn’t do that either. She caught me and flipped me over while the man peep held my head. Snip, when the scissors, and then snip again, and the operation was over. I snarled and hissed and growled like a wild man and ran...no scootching...thank goodness, downstairs again. Finally, when I got some privacy under the bed, I checked the situation out more closely and Hoo Ray, things were fixed.

PS. I heard the lady peep saying to the man peep “poor Eddy, he probably thinks he had poop on his tail but it wasn’t. He had some of that sticky sap from the poplar trees that Sam the Dog brings in on his coat, mashed into his pantaloons” (that’s her word for my fluffy back leg fur). Then, she laughed, which proves my point, she is a purrvert, but it was nice of her to fix me up so quick, so I’ll probably forgive her someday.