Here I am sitting at my window looking out into the backyard, thinking about squirrels, birds, small rodents, ooh and butterflies to chase and catch.
I'm quite tired this afternoon, as I was up very early, needing companionship, food and love hugs (not necessarily in that order) from my people. Night time seems like such a long time, when you're the only one awake. So, to get my people moving, and get the attention I deserve, I believe it is my job to start waking everyone up about 3:30 a.m. This is how I do it.
3:30 a.m. - Prowl very quietly into the bedroom, jump onto the bed and start purring. My female loves this and usually wakes up a bit and gives me a hug. So I start purring louder to show I'm still here. My male person then wakes up and says something like "that damn cat is purring again" while shoving me off the bed and onto the floor.
3:35 a.m. - Jump back up on the bed and start talking quietly while stomping around on the pillows looking for a comfortable spot near my female person's head.
3:40 a.m. - After being pushed rudely off the bed yet again, I walk over to the mirrored closet door and start scratching it. This makes a very interesting but somehow unpleasant sound. Nneither of my people like it, but it is guaranteed to wake them up. The female, being not quite so loving any more, grabs the squirt bottle and sprays me with it. I dash out of the bedroom, talking very loudly all the way.
3:40 - 3:50 a.m. - Stand on the rug outside the bedroom door looking in, alternating speaking loudly and scratching on the rug as hard as I can, oh and dodging the spray from the squirt bottle again.
3:51 a.m. - Run as hard as I can down the hallway, with the male person yelling at me to go back to sleep, you freaking stoopid animal, its only4:00 in the morning for God's sake.
3:56 a.m. - Back down the hall, into the bedroom again. This time stopping and knocking loudly on the bedroom door, so that it flies open and crashes into the wall. If I'm lucky, I'll knock the wall sconce off and wake the dog up. Even if the dog doesn't wake up, my people are bound to hear that loud thump of the door hitting the wall. They do, and now there are loud noises coming from both of them, because they are being awakened now for about the 45th time.
4:05 a.m. - Back down the hall to the living room and then a mad dash into the bathroom. Nothing there to knock over so I'll try to open the medicine cabinet with my paw. No success, but lots of interesting noises all the same. Perhaps just a few minutes scratching the bathtub tiles. Tomorrow I'm going to flush the toilet...that'll freak them out.
4:15 a.m. - Back into the bedroom and start the whole process again. This time managing to get into the closet and start tripping over the shoes and crinkling the shopping bags.
...etc., etc., etc.,
Until usually about 5:30 a.m. the female says, "Okay Eddy you big fat freak, you win, I'm getting up." And my day starts again.
April 28, 2006
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